Inside: Why Mindset and Emotional Well Being go hand in hand.
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Mindset is like my son's baseball pants. It's so easy for those things to get dirty.
They're nice and pristine white.
Why would a team decide to give a bunch of five-year-old boys white pants is BEYOND me.
They get smudged pretty quickly and easily. My son always tossing the red clay dirt on himself whenever they have a game. It makes him happy, so I don't mind much.
The first time I brought his pants home to clean them, I threw them in the washer and didn't think anything of it.
When they came out of the dryer, they were still that reddish brown color, not white at all.
What is Mindset?
Mindset is a set of attitudes held by someone, or the way they feel about things.
So easy to tarnish.
And we happily destroy our mindset, just like my son happily throws dirt on his beautiful new pants.
Just like my son though, we don't mean to destroy it, we are just doing what makes us happy, or fulfills our current need.
Mindset controls our perspective.
As a military spouse, I see it all the time with spouses.
“Ew. We are getting sent to Norfolk. I'm going to hate it.”
Spoiler: Those people DID hate it. Then went into it with a bad attitude, and hated every second of it.
They were miserable and unhappy the entire time they were there, and lots of them even ended up in divorce because they couldn't come to terms with living someplace their spouse was required to live.
Think about it. If you go into this inevitable situation thinking:
“I'm so excited. I've never been to Virginia before, and I hear the beaches are amazing.”
You're going to love it.
If both spouses end up in the same situation they're going to see things a lot differently, too.
Say they go to a grocery store, and they don't have the coffee brand they like. Spouse one is likely to blame their situation:
“Of COURSE Virginia doesn't have my Peet's Coffee! It's so terrible here, I can't wait to leave!”
Spouse two will likely have a different response:
“Man. This store doesn't have Peet's. What is this Kroger brand? Kona? This looks promising!”
Can you see the difference?
The first spouse has been throwing dirt on the clean white pants this whole time.
Nothing will ever be good enough, because they've already decided this.
The second spouse might not have loved the idea of moving away from their hometown to a weird little apartment complex in Virginia, but she found happiness, anyway. Her life threw dirt on her white pants, so she used extra detergent, and she got those things clean.
Mindset directly affects your emotional well-being. You wouldn't think they'd be connected
but when negative thoughts and emotions creep their way in, they affect your whole perspective.
This can wreck your mental clarity, your view of the world, and your nice clean white pants.
When you allow yourself to maintain a positive mindset, you can rewire your brain to be happier, more content, improve your outlook, quality of life and keep those pants clean.
All it takes is some extra detergent.
Negativity is Dirty.
We have all had the mornings where we didn't want to get out of bed. Your little was up all night, or your spouse has to get up TOO early, and you just binge watched Amazon Prime shows all night.
On top of that, you have a dentist appointment, you have to run to the store,
and you hear your dog puking in the hallway.
It's downhill from there. By thinking about how awful your day is going to be, you're inviting that negativity in to stay for a while. You're rubbing that red clay dirt into your pants.
You think the day is going to be bad, so it is.
The children nag you for yogurt even though you didn't buy any yet (it's grocery day!)
Your spouse tells you today is a late day.
Every step you take your view gets a little more shrouded in negativity until you fall apart.
You find yourself stuck in the middle of a dark forest without a path out.
Once you're there, it's easy to stick around, because you don't know how to leave.
This can lead to irrational thinking, a lack of confidence, and unhealthy self-talk
— I'm a horrible mother.
This downward spiral affects so much of your life. Most importantly, your mental health.
Think about what negativity brings with it.
Lack of motivation.
The list goes on, but the main point here is your quality of life is more important than
those negative feelings.
When you choose to refrain from negativity in unexpected events — such as orders in a military life — you'll reinforce those pathways in your brain.
Meaning you'll have more control over your knee jerk reactions, and you'll be able to look at a situation with a positive perspective, no matter what it is.
It will change your life.
A positive mindset can be the most important thing you ever give yourself.
As humans, it's easy to dwell on the bad feelings. Being miserable is easy, but happiness takes work.
Just like those white pants.
With a little extra detergent and the right settings, you'll keep those pants white.
No one can keep their pants white 100% of the time.
You'll need to wash them because life happens. But when you know the right way to get them back to clean, you won't worry when a little dirt gets on them.